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Survive an Affair
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This one needs time.
You also have to look deep into yourself. If you want to save your relationship...you need to NEVER throw this in their face ever again. You have to forgive them for the relationship to work.
Can you do that?
They Hurt you.
They Betrayed you.
They May or may not show remorse for their actions.
You might still run into the other half of their affair.
...and you have to get over it. Yes, they were WRONG.
but you need to get past the past or it will ruin your future.
ask yourself...Do I need to be right about this? or do I want to fix my marriage.
HINT: They know they're wrong...they just can't say it out loud too many times. It hurts. It means they're scum if it gets said out loud too many times.
So, the choice is ???
Fix the marriage and get past this...EXCELLENT choice.
Now we can help.
Now comes the big question...WHY?
What HAPPENED that the love-of-your-life-reason-for-your-existence is acting like a jerk?!
Have you ever wondered, "What is an affair?" Me too. Why do people fall in love, get married, then screw EVERYTHING up by boffing some bimbo 1/2 their age or some 1970's midlife throwback with a hot car and no style. I know it seems like they've lost their brain.
Arguments about the definition of an affair have gone on since the beginning of time. Bottom line is .. specifically, what was it about the inappropriate relationship that caused the damage in the marriage? Was it the sex?
The emotional bond, the amount of time spent together, the physical attraction? Was she exactly opposite from your spouse (trampy little airhead vs. strong and smart - and always right)?? letting you be a different man? (occasionally smart? occasionally right)? What was it?
Talk about it.
Get a clear understanding. If you don't understand how or why it happened and why it hurt the spouse, the probability of it happening again is very high.
Asking others to define the term for you is not the answer.
Figure out what you wanted to find in the third party that you weren't getting from your partner.